The new Twonkey show (Twonkey's Christmas in the Jungle) coming to the Brighton, Buxton and Edinburgh Fringe this summer (more info below after this fun little story I found behind a fake bookcase).

Enter the Twonkeyverse coughing up stories since 1876:

Example: Paulo the Powder Puff Creature.

You should really meet Paulo the Powder Puff Creature he was the property of Hilda Hedgerow. He would start everyday been pushed into an old tin of make up powder before been rubbed over Hilda’s fat scary face. The effect would knock a few years off her age but was only enough to get a tired smile from a gaunt police detective with no moral compass.

One day Paulo got a fright when what seemed like a gust of wind pushed him out of the window into the street. As Paulo fell he thought he could see a ginger cat and a creepy garden gnome with a bow tie on the windowsill, which was most peculiar, as Hilda didn’t have a pussy or a creepy little man.

He fell into the mittens of an angry schoolboy who was having a snowball fight with a rival school. Paulo was thrown over steeples, over the city hall and into a ditch. Then picked up again and thrown through a wizard’s hat, a mirror into the arsehole of loin, through its intestines into a Kit-Cat packet then into an awaiting raspberry ripple pavlova which was sitting dormant on the sweet trolley of a creepy restaurant. Then he was slopped up in a gooey lump heading towards the moist mouth of Hilda.

The air seemed to part when a ginger cat snapped Paulo up his drooling fangs and nipped him up a drainpipe to the safety of the wonky chimney pots on the restaurant roof. Then a door in one of the chimney pots slowly creaked open; there stood a creepy garden gnome with a bow tie and his flies undone.

“I see you’ve met our rescue moggie Chow Chow come inside and meet the mob….”

Inside the flue was loads of sweaty, snuggled up snowball creatures like Paulo. So Paulo stuck his finger up his arse and tried to suck his own balls.

THE TWONKEYVERSE (I.E "TWONKEY'S CHRISTMAS IN THE JUNGLE" COMING TO A TOWN NEAR YOU MAYBE)

I.E THE BRIGHTON,BUXTON AND EDINBURGH FRINGE :

BRIGHTON!!!!!!!!

Brighton Fringe @ Sweet Dukebox

8:30pm 3rd and the 4th of June 2017 £8 (conc £6)

Sweet Dukebox 3 Waterloo Street Hove East Sussex BN3 1AQ

BUXTON!!!!!!!!

Buxton Fringe @ Underground at The Old Clubhouse

21st July 7pm and 22nd July 5:30pm £7 (Conc £6)

The Old Clubhouse 3 Water St, Buxton SK17 6XN

EDINBURGH!!!!!!!!

Edinburgh Fringe Heroes @ Dragonfly

7:20pm 3rd to the 27th of August (not the 15th) £5 or P.W.Y.W

Dragonfly, 52 West Port, EH1 2LD

FLYER ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOP IMAGE PHOTO EXPRESS EDINBURGH/POSTER DESIGN SUPER ALLAN.

NEWS JUST IN:

A Twonkey set will be happening at: Peter Pancakes's Comedy Extravaganza!

Join the king of daft Phil O’Shea ("Utter delicious nonsense" - Fest) for a monthly hand-picked smorgasbord of the most unusual and creative comedy acts out there.

Will there be laughs? YES!

Puppets? YES!

And Singing? YES!

And nonsense and Joy? DEFO! Watch the imagination run riot!

18th of May Doors 7pm, show 8:30pm - please be with us by 8pm

Monkey Barrel Edinburgh,

The Original Room.