'Wild Apricots' or 'Notable by my Absence'

An interview with Chris Hutchison about missing out on Paul Vickers and The Leg’s Trip to Yellae Deuks.

How long have you been working with Paul?

Chris: I have worked with Paul very closely for what seems like a 100 years. We are known as Sherbet and Chilli it’s a pet name used by acquaintances. Like Paul I’m a local entertainer but I have more strings to my bow as I’m also a jokey and from out of space like all jockeys. This means I have a love of competitive breeding and there’s always little bit of fudge tablet waiting for me at Cape Canaveral.

Why did Paul refuse to take you to Anstruther for the Fence Do Yellae Deuks?

Chris:

He's an arsehole and a deeply troubled artist of no real value. I was greatly saddened and had all my paraphernalia already packed into Pete’s car. At the last minute he stood me up in the ice cream parlour. He’s very exited about the new Paul Vickers and The Leg album ‘The Greengrocer’. The original title for the album was ‘Sherbet and Chilli’ I don’t need to give any clues where he got that idea from what a complete arsehole. Paul feels the new record has the hot air choke of chilli but with the sweet aftertaste of Sherbet dabs.

How much has Paul let everyone he knows down overall?

Chris: It’s hard to measure that accurately. His approach has always been let other people do the hard stuff so he can essentially just twat about over the top of it. He claims to have written a book, which was actually written by ghostwriters. He has that poor lad Pierre Chandeze in Paris working in a sweatshop of the rue cortot composing songs for his fringe shows he hasn’t slept for weeks. The Leg have worked tirelessly on the new album and just like Dawn of the Replicants before them they work long hours in an underground hovel drinking pissy nettles as their only mild form of nourishment.

What is your favourite watering hole?

Chris: The White Horse it’s little bit of a run along the coast road. The good thing about is Paul hardly ever goes there. So it’s a safe heaven way from his constant droning on about getting things ready for a show, a book or an album. His life long collaborator brother Steven can often be found there just enjoying the sun gently shimmering through the door as it cascades into tiny fractured light particles of hope.

The curtain is rising but are the vegetables cooked?

Chris: The boys have all been magnificent and we are all going for a slap up lunch at The White Horse to celebrate with any luck Paul won’t turn up. Then again saying all of that if you lick him just under the chin he lets of a sweet scent not to dissimilar to wild apricots and not a lot of people know that.