Tuesday, 13 September 2011

WELCOME TO MR.TWONKEY.

Pub Quiz At The Black Heart : The Answers
1. Tufftie O Riley was found guilty by Cork magistrate’s court for trying to drown a Gorilla in his bathroom sink, but to which breed of short, irritable pipe smoking gentlemen does he belong? Answer: He is a leprechaun, a buffalo leprechaun to be precise, which means he has immense physical strength and the voice of a female soprano
2. When can you cash a cheque written in invisible ink? Answer: Every leap year
3. What is a woman’s ultimate fantasy? Answer: Spending all day hanging round in nothing more than a pair of black undies and then spending the evening pulling pints in a busy bar
4. What is the name of the condition that causes you to sometimes bury your dinner in the back garden? Answer: Scoping
5. What does it mean if your bypinneyal? Answer: Well that means you sometimes eat dog food
6. When you look at the moon with a flash light what can you see? Answer: Of course its knickers
7. A re-enactment of the battle of Quebec went berserk when the man playing General Wolfe was shot with live rounds. What did the reasonable Carl Curly have to say in court? Answer: “It may be murder, but the historical accuracy was second to none”
8. What is the Atlantis move in chess? Answer: It’s when you replace your rooks with shrimps and pour a glass of water over your opponent
9. The Weeping Windows prison in Shanghai is notorious but why?
Answer: It’s a bit stuffy so they leave the windows open at night
10. A current and savings bank account are fairly normal things to have but what makes the captain so remarkable? Answer: Well Captain Chips is a parrot
11. The sudden urge to be sick all over the driver after a long journey is known as? Answer: Crockets cannon
12. Having a full Sunday roast and then going straight to bed is known as? Answer: Worming
13. Breaking into your child’s piggy bank so you can buy alcohol is known as? Answer: Blind Betty
14. In snooker if you block the pocket with a scotch egg as your opponent is taking a shot you may be accused of? Answer: Packing Aladdin’s wallet
15. If you hug snails they turn into what? Answer: ...horses
16. Now how many sexual scenarios are there before you start repeating yourself? Answer: Seven:
1. The dunking top
2. The claw hammer
3. The pony
4. Sentimental Sue
5. The quivering octopus
6. Ball sack
7. The cloak

No comments:

Post a Comment